Summer 2023 Snack-Sized Movie Reviews
The Little Mermaid
Without the 1989 cartoon for comparison, The Little Mermaid is adequate. Chloe Bailey is an ideal combination of vulnerability and cuteness that is best showcased through her singing. However, I was disappointed by how much of the storyline had to be tweaked to satisfy Woke Disney, most specifically the change of lyrics in the song Part of Your World, the absence of Chef Louis and the introduction of her high-minded family. Disney Studios is clearly terrified to put forward an idea that may be perceived as outdated, so why not focus on new, original content instead?
The Flash
The Flash is one of the better superheroes movies to date and will keep you engaged from start to finish. Granted, actor Ezra Miller’s real life is an ugly mess and James Gunn has completely destroyed the Snyderverse. Nevertheless, the story is multifaceted, the acting is entertaining and seeing Michael Keaton don The Batman cape once again is pure comic book magic. I can’t forget to mention my most favourite part which was the introduction of Supergirl who is just the right amount of moody, sexy and modern… a complete revelation.
Indian Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Mocked by many for having an octogenarian in the title role, Harrison Ford proves he is perennially cool. Saying this movie caters only to seniors is doing it a great disservice. Instead, if you’re a fan of the first two installments in this franchise you will enjoy Dial of Destiny. The CGI in the opening sequence is well done except for the failure to de-age Ford’s voice. The story has a Spielberg/Lucas quality while the understated celebrity cast enhances its retro vibe. Like many classic 80’s blockbusters Dial of Destiny is packed full of stunts, exotic locales and sci/fi surprise.
Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning
To be blunt, this movie is alright, but the story has been sacrificed for outrageous stunts that don’t measure up to it’s predecessors. Let’s get real with regards to the “Big Stunt,” there is no way Tom Cruise parachuted from a full speed motorcycle cliff dive. Cruise is not Evil Knievel and the visual is overhead without even a glimpse of Cruise’s face. We are aware that Hollywood magic is at the forefront of every blockbuster, but as a movie lover I don’t appreciate being treated as a gullible viewer. It is worth noting that Pom Klementieff’s portrayal as Paris serves as the perfect balance of homicidal maniac and vulnerable ingenue, think Jaws in The Spy Who Loved Me, but better.
Barbie
For years Barbie has been portrayed as a bad influence on little girls but Barbie: The Movie changes that. The sets are spot on from Barbie’s dream house to her pink corvette, while the plywood beach waves and waterless pools create a masterful simplicity. Margot Robbie breathes life into an inanimate toy with every mannerism, regardless of her new found flat feet and cute cellulite, while Ryan Gosling must be praised for his plastic Ken physique. Never preachy, the poignant messages are both visual and emotional and unlike anything you have ever experienced before. A must watch for everyone.
Oppenheimer
If you want to survive Barbenheimer 2023 this is a movie that must be experienced on the big screen. In typical Christopher Nolan fashion striking sounds and stark imagery is utilized to amp up the Atomic experience. Moreover, you will be blown away by how many great actors are in this movie. Although the science was above my Grade 9 capabilities it didn’t matter because the the themes are straightforward. Perseverance, bullying and miscalculations are things we have all faced, therefore making Oppenheimer’s explosive journey relatable and never boring.