Road House vs Road House
Other than catching a few minutes of Road House on AMC I have never seen the 1989 version starring Patrick Swayze in its entirety. To be honest, I never thought I would like it. It wasn’t till I heard a remake was coming out with Jake Gyllenhaal that I decided to invest in a double feature of the original and the redo… and in the end only one is worth watching.
The original Road House is enjoyable for the same reason most 80’s movies are…they don’t take themselves seriously. The story is simple. Dalton (Swayze) is hired as a “cooler” to clean up a local bar riddled with problems. Dalton is an incorruptible man with the mantra “be nice” who avoids violence at all costs…until he can’t. From the get go the movie is gritty, seedy and a bit cheesy with lines such as “with that line of work I thought you’d be bigger.” Nevertheless, each scene is acted with the utmost sincerity and you never feel like you are watching something comical. Swayze is in his element playing a zen (often shirtless,) cool guy without even flinching. Add in a boyish Jeff Healey as the resident musician and Kelly Lynch (as the brainy doctor/gorgeous love interest) and you have 80’s perfection. However, it is Sam Elliott who steals this movie. From the moment he runs his hands through his spectacular hair and utters the words “double douche” in that signature twang you can’t help but be charmed. No one looks like Sam Elliott, no one talks like Sam Elliott and no one is as effortlessly gutsy as he is. Yes, it appears that I have a bit of a crush on Sam Elliott, but that is what makes this movie so enjoyable. Road House has something for everyone: violence, power, sex appeal and most importantly an abundance of fun.
Road House 2024 on the other hand is not entertaining. Firstly, why is Dalton a former UFC fighter? Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself but this newest incarnation is the ULTIMATE disappointment. To begin with in this version Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a former UFC fighter hired to clean up a rowdy bar in the Florida Keys. The bar in question is a cute tiki style establishment with a constant rotation of trendy bands. Immediately, I could tell that this version was way too sanitized for my liking. For example, during Dalton’s first “big” fight scene with a group of bad guys, (which by the way is a direct ripoff of Jack Reacher 2012,) Dalton beats up the group and then proceeds to drive them to the hospital. Stupid? Yes, big time! Road House continues on this brainless trajectory by including Conor McGregor as a UFC fighter trying to act as a UFC fighter. Sadly, although I am a Gyllenhaal fan (see Nocturnal Animals,) this movie only showcases his abs which could quite frankly grate cheese. The story is laughable, the cast is forgettable and the entire vibe is off. Skip this and watch the original and be sure to fast forward to the parts with Sam Elliott